It’s normal to experience a range of emotions during pregnancy. An expectant mother may be excited and joyful, but also anxious, stressed, and even sad at times depending on the circumstances around her.
Let’s Be Honest About Difficult Emotions During Pregnancy
It’s important to acknowledge that mental health issues can arise during pregnancy. Moms-to-be are often embarrassed or afraid to confide in others about the difficult emotions they face. Her feelings left unaddressed can lead to continued mental health challenges past pregnancy such as post-partum depression. Recognition and acceptance of maternal mental health challenges can help women feel more comfortable talking to their doctors, family members, or friends.
My Story – Anxiety, Depression, and Rainbow Babies
Just a heads up, I discuss some sensitive topics, like miscarriage in this part of the post. If this is a hard topic for you, you can skip down to the 5 ways to reduce stress during pregnancy.
Myself and anyone else who was pregnant during the fully-masking era of COVID can tell you that those were stressful circumstances to be carrying a child under! When I had baby #2 I was going to appointments alone, sifting through research on vaccines, and anxiously avoiding people, places, and things that might make me sick.
I was pregnant with my second rainbow baby, which if you don’t know is a term for a healthy baby born after losing a baby due to miscarriage or other natural loss. A “rainbow baby” comes after a dark and stormy time.
Because I’ve miscarried in the past, I have heightened anxiety during pregnancy. I was excited, but I also worried that something would go wrong again. Paired with the pandemic, these fears made me very overwhelmed. I had trouble focusing, got less enjoyment out of things, and even started to have panic attacks. I felt a decline in my mental health, and I had to find ways to cope.
I want to share some things that worked for me, and I hope to help other women who are feeling overwhelmed during pregnancy. Even when we do everything right to ensure a healthy pregnancy, stressful situations can still arise. From the outside, it seems like pregnant women spend nine months in bliss waiting for their bundle of joy, but in reality we’re still handling the same daily stressors as everyone else.
Many facets of life can impact the way we feel and experience pregnancy. It might not be a pandemic, but maybe the pregnancy was unexpected, you’re without support, or your environment doesn’t feel appropriate for a new baby. Whatever the case, I have hope for you and here are a few things you can do to start reducing your stress.
What I did to turn my situation around and have a healthier pregnancy.
Below are five things I did that significantly reduced stress during my pregnancy. With these coping strategies, resources, and habits I was able to experience the rest of my pregnant months through a happier lens.
*The suggestions in this post are based on personal experience and do not replace professional counseling or medical treatment.*
5 Ways to Reduce Stress and Cope With Difficult Emotions During Pregnancy:
- See a therapist.
- I hugely advocate for therapy and have used it to get through many seasons in my life. During my pregnancy, I was able to connect with a therapist through our family’s health insurance. I found it helpful to see a therapist who specialized in family counseling. There are also therapists who specialize specificaly in Prenatal and Postpartum mental health.
- Finding a therapist can seem intimidating, but there are many resources out there for free and affordable mental health services. If you have insurance, start by visiting the website or contacting the phone number listed on your health insurance card to find providers in your network. Or ask your OBGYN/Primary Care doctor for a referral to a therapist. If you don’t have insurance, ask the therapist’s office about financial assistance programs or use a payment plan to cover the costs. Additionally, there are many virtual therapy apps that accept both direct payment and insurance.
- Check our these resources as well: Postpartum Support International, National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (US only).
- Journal a few sentences every day.
- Every night before bed while I was pregnant, I wrote down one good thing about my day. After a while, I had a very long log of happy moments and the practice of writing them down made me more attentive to the positives during my day. I also gained the perspective that even on bad days there has to be at least one good thing to have happened too.
- When journaling, identify positive focal points about your pregnancy and acknowledge the things you are doing well.
- Nourish your mothering spirit with scripture.
- The Gospel acknowledges the challenge of pregnancy, but it also reminds us that God’s will for mothers is JOY! This is a beacon of hope for women who find themselves in a dark place during or after pregnancy. God wants mothers to feel fulfilled and loved. Scripture reminds us that it is possible to find joy in motherhood, even when our circumstances are difficult.
- When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. (JN 16:21)
- When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. (JN 19: 26-27)
- Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. (Psalm 128: 3)
- Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127: 3)
- I recommend the online Fearless Momma Birth Class because the creator, Dancee Pinkston, does a great job incorporating a Christian perspective on motherhood. Her online courses and E-books helped me prepare spiritually and also gave me practical preparation tips to get ready for the delivery room. She has a YouTube channel and even a dads birth class that my husband loved!
- The Gospel acknowledges the challenge of pregnancy, but it also reminds us that God’s will for mothers is JOY! This is a beacon of hope for women who find themselves in a dark place during or after pregnancy. God wants mothers to feel fulfilled and loved. Scripture reminds us that it is possible to find joy in motherhood, even when our circumstances are difficult.
- Confide in someone you trust.
- Having someone to talk to is so important. Opening up can be hard because we don’t want to be judged for our weaknesses. But the people who care about you will make sure to lift you up for your strengths. Thankfully, my sisters and husband were open to listen to me talk about my struggles during pregnancy.
- If you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone in person, I found it was also helpful to connect with other moms in virtual spaces, like on social media. Watching videos on YouTube or reading posts on mom blogs provided a sense of community in my struggle. However, the flip side of what people share online is that it can also be discouraging. So, seek your community carefully and leave behind any forums, groups, or social platforms that are overly negative.
- Set boundaries.
- A day in the life of a pregnant woman is equivalent to running a marathon every day. Even science says this is true! Your energy is completely maxed out – so set boundaries on how much you do and feel in your right to say no to extras others ask of you. For me, setting boundaries looked like asking for more help around the house, saying no to outings when I was tired, and being generally less available to others when I needed to focus on myself and the baby.
You’ve got this mama. And if you don’t, God has you.
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. You and your families are in my prayers always. Let me know what your pregnancy journeys have been like. Leave a comment or send me a message on Instagram.